So he was ashamed of his sin. It really didn't have anything to do with religion. He had no religion. But he had been taught it was a sin, and he believed it. When he'd had a bad day and not sold much and mother had been very demanding he would find relief up in his bedroom. He would be very quiet, and he would take out some magazines he had bought when his mother sent him out for medicines or books or other things she needed from the stores in town. That was the only time he went out, and he had noticed some magazines in a store that made him feel good. He bought them with some money he kept separate from his mother's, so he had a separate receipt. Mother checked all the receipts. He kept his magazines hidden high up on a shelf in his room. He was in his 20s when he first started masturbating. He knew the word. He also knew it as Onanism. And jacking off. And other words. It was a sin. But it felt so good. And so few things made him feel good. When he made himself hard, and jerked. ”Yael giggled to herself. “It sounds as if any woman you might meet now has to be measured against this amazing woman who’s voice is putting you under her spell. It’s honestly fascinating to hear that this works for you.”“It does for me, but having me go on and on about this woman’s voice probably isn’t helping me very much when there’s a beautiful Irish woman right here next to me.”“Oh, I don’t know,” Yael smiled, looking a little wistful, “I think any woman would be touched to hear they matter to someone the way you talk about her. I’m honestly a little jealous. Just a little bit.”“Well, we couldn’t have that, Yael. I’m very sorry for going on and on and on. Please, would you let me buy you a drink?”Yael smiled again at him, nodding. “I’d like that.”The two sat together talking, sharing, laughing, and delighting in the company they found. Shawn hadn’t known a woman of Yael’s beauty before. She seemed grounded, lovely, smart and worldly, yet he loved that she still had a thirst for.
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